“LIFE PUSHED TO HELLISH EXTENT”
I lay here
thunder attacking the night sky
stars stolen by the storm
I lay here
and can’t help but laugh
it's like I am watching a film
and it’s about me
I am the night sky
the thunder is playing your role
the stars casted my hope
and your words stole it just like the storm
how ironic isn’t it?
Comparing this moment to a thunderstorm
frankly, that would be wrong
this isn’t a thunderstorm
that’s not how it feels
I am set in a tornadoes eye
everything around me is serene
no sound, no raindrop
but I know
catastrophe awaits on the other side
no notice, no touch
just an agonizingly silent ride
with something else
I cannot articulate at the time.
I knew it was too good to be true
we’d live forever
I knew you’d open the door and leave
see the light and get in
your time arrived
if only you were here
during these lonely hours.
I know it’s hard to believe...
I am someone without you
oh, honey truth is
I am in love without you
yes, I’ll admit
there were days when I thought you were it
you were my all
being in love without you implies
laying down and giving myself the time
I don’t need you, to be in love
I only need me
not the “love” we used to bleed.
I’ve never felt more dead in my life
it’s like I am living but not really alive,
I am starting to think about death
and find that it might be more peaceful than this state
watching your loved ones fade away
take me if it’s my time
but, don’t leave me here
to grieve nor cry
please, just hear me out.
My whole life I’ve wanted to fly
I tried and tried to throw myself at the wind
Hopelessness was the reason for it
it never seemed to be the right thing,
I used to think
my wings were cut off and lost
yet, today it feels like I am told to fly
and more than anything, I just want to stand on the ground.
I realized how much I love :
the wind on my face
the sun on my skin
my wings off my back
and my feet on the ground.
I don’t want to fly
I am not ready to fly.