• Daniella Pineda

“LIFE PUSHED TO HELLISH EXTENT”

I lay here

thunder attacking the night sky

stars stolen by the storm

I lay here

and can’t help but laugh

how ironic

it's like I am watching a film

and it’s about me

I am the night sky

the thunder is playing your role

the stars casted my hope

and your words stole it just like the storm

how ironic isn’t it?

Comparing this moment to a thunderstorm

frankly, that would be wrong

this isn’t a thunderstorm

that’s not how it feels

I am set in a tornadoes eye

everything around me is serene

no sound, no raindrop

but I know

catastrophe awaits on the other side

no notice, no touch

just an agonizingly silent ride

with something else

I cannot articulate at the time.


 

I knew it was too good to be true

we’d live forever

I knew you’d open the door and leave

see the light and get in

your time arrived

possibly ours

if only you were here

during these lonely hours.

I know it’s hard to believe...

I am someone without you

breathing

living

oh, honey truth is

I am in love without you

yes, I’ll admit

there were days when I thought you were it

you were my all

not anymore

being in love without you implies

laying down and giving myself the time

to realize

I don’t need you, to be in love

I only need me

not the “love” we used to bleed.


 

I’ve never felt more dead in my life

it’s like I am living but not really alive,

I am starting to think about death

and find that it might be more peaceful than this state

watching your loved ones fade away

take me if it’s my time

but, don’t leave me here

to grieve nor cry

please, just hear me out.


 

My whole life I’ve wanted to fly

I tried and tried to throw myself at the wind

Hopelessness was the reason for it

it never seemed to be the right thing,

I used to think

my wings were cut off and lost

yet, today it feels like I am told to fly

and more than anything, I just want to stand on the ground.

I realized how much I love :

the wind on my face

the sun on my skin

my wings off my back

and my feet on the ground.

I don’t want to fly

I am not ready to fly.

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